Mere Exposure

I used to believe that men and women could be “just friends.” Recently I have come to realize that this may not actually be true at all. Because of my own circumstances I thought it was possible, but now that I think about it, this seems unlikely.

One reason this is unlikely is because of the mere exposure effect. The more you are exposed to a person, the more likely you are to develop a crush on them, date them, or even spend the rest of your life with them. This is why many people end up with someone they met in the workplace, or just a place they spend a lot of their time.

We can think of mere exposure in other, less frightening ways… ever wonder why things “grow on us?” You walk into a room and don’t like the new paint color, and someone says, “it will grow on you.” What happens? Usually it does. I’m not saying this is always the case, some colors are hideous and this is not always possible… but you get the idea.

The more you are exposed to a person, the more you like them. Well crap! Right?! Maybe this doesn’t happen for you. Maybe you are with a person a lot of the time, and nothing happens… you think. Well what about for the other person? You may think you know their every thought, but you don’t.

I know, I know, this is the crap they put in movies about the best friends of the opposite sex who suddenly fall in love… or one of the people does. Well they didn’t pull this scenario out of thin air. Lets just sum this up by saying, think about it. Its not true for everyone, I never generalize to entire populations. Just be careful and try not to assume.

Like my mom always says… “it makes an ass out of you and me.”

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Marriage

Marriage has been one of my biggest contemplations in life so far. I keep going back to it… asking new questions, forming new arguments, and always wondering its purpose. It began as a way to bring villages together, to increase population, and as a religious ceremony. Today, marriage has mostly turned into a tradition that people follow blindly. Today I will try and stick to one aspect of my questioning marriage. What bothers me about marriage today, is that some couples seem to get married because it is “supposed” to be the next step in their relationship. I feel that because of this, people are taking marriage less seriously. A couple may agree to get married and not worry so much because they can always get a divorce later… easy solution. What marriage is really about, deep down, is commitment. I think that people forget about this part. They may get married because they love each other, but the purpose of marriage is to commit. The vows aren’t there for the fun of it, they really mean something. “Til death do us part” should really hit couples hard, this isn’t a joke… this is literally the purpose of marriage… proving your commitment to one another. In the end, couples shouldn’t get married because they are bored and think this is the next obvious step to take. You cannot get married and have the thought in the back of your mind saying, “oh well, if it doesn’t work out we can always get a divorce.” This removes the seriousness and the purpose of marriage. Why marry someone if you aren’t sure you want to spend the rest of your life with them?